We carried out our plan perfectly and it worked beautifully, giving us an special opportunity to experience a near empty Auschwitz I camp. After hearing about this place for years, and anticipating our visit, it felt eerie to finally be walking into the camp. As we walked through the main gate I scoffed (in my mind) at the title, 'Arbiet Macht Frei' (work will set you free), it sure will - when you die of fatigue, hunger or disease. Yes in that respect death would be freedom. I was in no mood to be taking photos and I'm glad that Snowdon got a whole lot during our tour later on.
I found myself wondering how one should act in a concentration camp. The sign had requested respect and silence and I intended to comply. Later on, to my chagrin, I found that many people didn't take on this request and one guy was even videoing inside 1m from the sign telling us not to do this. 'Why can't he just follow the rules', I thought, with offense and annoyance. I thought to tap him on the should and alert him to the sign but didn't, deciding instead to try not to judge, but maybe this action would have honored the dead? I wondered how to 'be' with all of this. At first I found it hard to look other people in the eye. I wondered why that was, then realized that I was embarrassed to be a human being, as it was human beings who committed these atrocities. After uncovering this though I realized that it was silly, and thought that what is needed here is compassion, not more sombre gloominess. Respect yes, gloomy sadness no. I then wondered if I should smile. A smile yes, with compassion and kindness, raucous laughter and running around (not that anyone felt like that but just a comparison) no, that would be offensive and inappropriate.
After reflecting on how to act in a concentration camp, I thought our guide was a great model. She was factual, looked and sounded Polish (thus local which I liked), and told us how it was, with an element of compassion. Thus her words landed with me. At one stage she said simply something along the lines of, 'but definitely 1.1 million people died here', oh dear, those words reverberated within me and I got the hugeness of each of those people losing their lives. Six million people worldwide, predominantly but not only Jews, were murdered. I reflected how I might get this message across in my future teaching career, and realized that that number is well over the population of my country, NZ, currently 4.3 million, likewise with Singapore where we're headed next, of 4.8 million.
On some pre-trip research I found this table and was struck by the huge impact on Poland that I never knew about - half of the total deaths were from this one country. This stimulated another musing on why it is now so peaceful here. If you live through that kind of devastation, you're going to educate your children about it. I figure you'd tell them that it doesn't work to stereotype/judge people on their looks and beliefs. Maybe here in Poland we have a generation of people who have grown up learning to accept and love people however they look and whatever their view, opinions and beliefs are. I feel that from people here.
Deaths of Jews in the Holocaust
Poland | 3,000,000 | 90% of all Jews there |
Germany | 210,000 | 90% of all Jews there |
Czech. | 155,000 | 86% of all Jews there |
Holland | 105,000 | 75% of al Jews there |
Hungary | 450,000 | 70% of all Jews there |
Ukraine | 900,000 | 60% of all Jews there |
Romania | 300,000 | 50% of all Jews there |
Russia | 107,000 | 11% of all Jews there |
Total number of European Jews killed = 6 million
Added to this must be those other groups murdered in the death camps such as gypsies, the physically disabled, the mentally disabled and those involved in resistance movements against Hitler (taken from http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/holocaust.htm)
On continuing my initial walk into the camp and reading the very informative and succinct description boards, I learnt that as the 'slave labour inmates' of the camp marched in and out of the camp each day for their twelve hours of back breaking work, the camp orchestra had to play music to keep them in step, so that they could be counted easily by the German guards. I later learned that this was just one of the practises to keep everyone in check. If anyone was missing, 10 others would be punished/tortured to death, and if anyone died outside the camp during the 'work day' (as many did) they had to be carried back for that days roll call (again if they missed it others would suffer). I was right there in the spot where the 'inmates' had marched, exhausted, famished and I assume desperately trying to keep in step with their co-inmates music. I found this fact chilling.
As I walked on I reflected that it is actually a pretty place. It is very tidy, has nice wooden/brick buildings, and beautiful tall, lush, green trees swaying in the breeze - I even noticed a beautiful lamp that was alight, however as I pondered upon this thought I presumed that it's purpose was to light the area for the guards and thus it seemed far less appealing. Likewise, due to the relative lack of people around it also seemed very peaceful, until my mind wondered to knowledge I have of it's past being on the very far opposite spectrum.
I entered a building which was originally inhabited by 'inmates' and has now been set up as a museum. On entering the far room on the top floor, a distinct heaviness descended upon me (I've read that before but don't recall experiencing it). On taking a look at what the room displayed I understood this heaviness and this drew powerful feelings of sadness and repugnance in me. The whole big room was dedicated to human hair. The Nazi's were avid re-users and I have since read that the concentration camps were expected to generate revenue for the war effort. Hair was removed on arrival to the camp and also from dead victims. This hair was saved, packaged and sent in big paper bags to be turned into 'hair cloth'. The 'hair cloth' was then used for the German uniforms, in the collar - to keep it stiff. Nazi's wearing the human hair of their victims in their collars occurred to me, as sickening. Working prisoners were the ones who would have to collect anything of value (hair, gold teeth) from the victims and at times these would be their relatives.
After a short video with original footage from the end of the war, we met up with our tour guide, who took us on an initially similar walk that I'd just been on, but provided us with insightful information at each location. In one room a display table contained an original document detailing the 'Final Solution to the Jewish Problem'. It estimated the worldwide Jewish population at 1.1 million (which turns out to be the amount, at least, eventually murdered in this camp alone) but by the end of the war had murdered 6 million. Fortunately they only reached the occupied countries, the Jews in the other targeted/unoccupied countries, were safely out of reach. However, they did unfortunately relocate and murder Jews from as far away as Greece, with few surviving the several weeks in the horrifically cramped train carriage transport conditions (the picture is a carriage from Hungary I assume the ones from Greece would have been similar).
On relocation, Jews were informed about where they were going (lies), even to the extent where they were sold land and given land titles in their new destination. On arrival at Auschwitz-Birkenau doctors and guards would sort the 'prisoners' into two groups: fit to work, and not fit to work. The 'fit to work' group 25% would then be registered as prisoners of the camp and photographed. The 'not fit to work' group 75% would then walk to their death, informed that they would have a shower, and to make sure they remembered the numbered peg that they hung their clothes on in order to find it easily on their return. But in fact they went straight to the gas chamber (complete with shower heads to deceive the prisoners and keep them calm). The photos below show the 'sorting area' at Auschwitz-Birkenau camp, from afar and up close. 2000 people at a time were gassed in these chambers in 20 minutes, thus explaining how the Nazi's were able to murder massive numbers of people during this time.
During our tour we walked along a corridor containing these photos of the 'inmates'. Women on one side of the wall and men on the other, reflecting how they were kept on opposite sides in the camp. Our guide explained to us how to interpret the information below the photo. The date of their arrival and the date of their death, an average 3 months for women and 6 months for men. One woman in particular captured my attention, the only blurred photograph that I saw. Elizabieta Lepicka. I'm not sure what exactly it was that caught my eye about this picture, and what had me escape the group for a few minutes to return to see her again, but I'll attempt to convey my feelings. Elizabieta appeared to have tears in her eyes. All those photos of people uplifted from their homes, living in horrible conditions with varying expressions on their faces, a few younger boys even provided a vague smile for the camera, most displayed their numbness or sadness but there was only one that I saw with tears. Her head was tipped back with her chin out a bit - also like no one else. Who would even dare show even a hint of defiance like that in a place where you can be shot for the tiniest error. Her expression I found hard to read but I interpret it as strong and proud knowing and willing to 'be' that this isn't right and shouldn't be happening, and remain true to herself despite the repercussions (please note that I know that this may be completely unrelated to how this woman was actually feeling). Yet it wasn't contempt that I could see but pain and sadness at the whole situation, the loss - I really felt it looking at this woman's picture. She lasted 8 days at Auschwitz before her death. I presume she was overworked/underfed in the labour camp, but I also have a suspicion that she is not someone who believed in biting her tongue when she has something to say (I admire that I'd like to bite my lip much less), and this may have lead to her quick death/short stay in that camp. I think she died with sorrow, but an admirably (not stubbornly) proud woman. To me she appeared to be a very beautiful human being.
One aspect that gave me a further glimpse into what life in this camp would have been like is the Latrines. Each person was allowed only two visits to the toilet a day and the time of these visits may have been as little as several seconds each. The timing was enforced by the guards, as the ratio of latrine to 'inmate' was tiny. There was no toilet paper. For me this was a very down to earth, practical view of camp life. The job of emptying these filthy latrines was a highly sort after job and those who secured this job thought themselves very fortunate, for two reasons:
1. the job was indoors, and thus protected from the elements
2. you were relatively safe from the attentions of the guards during the day as they avoided this area due to the smell and fear of catching a disease.
The monument at Auschwitz (II) Birkenau has been built in a spot that sits between the location of two of the four gas chambers (all four chambers were destroyed at the end of the war by the Nazi's to eliminate the evidence of these crimes). The monument is made up of stones placed to represent the different burial customs of the cultures involved and there is a plaque (like the one pictured below in English) in each of the language (21) of these customs.
Below is me beside the English plaque. I was quite taken by the family photo in the frame that I'm looking at. This is from a Canadian lady, pictured with her family of about 20 people of all ages, informing her husbands Uncle (who had presumably died here) that his brother's choice of fleeing Vienna had been a good one and that he had survived - thus enabling the lives of all of the individuals in this picture's lives. A very moving tribute.
The question that always comes up for me is, 'But how could this happen?' How could 6 million people be murdered? How could it have possibly gone on so long? Well my visit to Auschwitz has shined some light on how this has happened. Some points that helped me to understand this are:
- It was extensively pre-planned.
- Hitler rose to a position where he could change laws.
- It was set in a country of incredibly organized people.
- New laws were created. Laws are generally created for good reasons, to keep people safe, thus the majority of people follow them. Also they will be punished if they don't.
- Hitler (and his team of others of course) used peoples respect and love for each other. For example; if you escape the camp, 10 other people will be punished leading to eventual death; or they will go after your family; and one boy was shot in the head (he survived) for sharing food with his female 'inmate'.
- Hitler (and co) used the punishment of death very freely, people's basic instinct is to do what it takes to survive.
- Hitler (and co) lied to people, giving them a false sense of security.
Well, 'The Holocaust' is no longer a distant story for me, but very real events that concretely happened. I have seen the hair, the photos, the official documents, the latrines and the gas chambers. This museum is a wonderful educational resource for people around the world in the same position as me, trying to understand. 1.3 million people visited Auschwitz last year (2009), so I'm not own my own in my search for the answers!
I assert in the future we will find out more about the experience of the German soldiers and civilians involved in enforcing (or in other ways) these atrocities, who I feel were often as much prisoners as everyone else. Unfortunately the majority of the SS (the Schutzstaffel, the personal army of Hilter and the Nazi party) who could provide much more information, were not caught and have apparently fled to South America (mostly Argentina), to dodge facing up to their actions.
Well my understanding and knowledge of The Holocaust grows and grows. The resources that I've used and found valuable in my efforts attempting to understand how this could have happened, are:
Books:
- Lovely Green Eyes by Arnost Lustig (A Jewish girl from Prague who survives by posing as an Aryan, she begins as a doctors assistant and ends up in a brothel)
- Anne Frank: The diary of a Young girl (a german girl in hiding who records her life in hiding)
Movies:
- Life is Beautiful (La Vita e Bella), (an Italian Jewish man saves his young son's life by treating the whole ordeal as a game of hide and go seek in the concentration camp).
- The Reader (the perspective of a German woman guard)
- The Boy with the Striped Pajamas (a German boy who befriends a young Jewish inmate)
- Schindlers List (a drunken womanizer out to make money from the war eventually stumbles upon his deep generosity and compassion and saves 1000 lives).
Museum:
- The Holocaust Museum in Washington DC.
We will visit Anne Franks 'Secret Annexe' in Amsterdam and then that will be enough for me for awhile. To any (particularly German or European) readers who feel that in any way annoyed or offended by this blog I've tried to avoid that and have been aware of this as I wrote. Please excuse any ignorance that is evident from my comments! I don't recall learning about the Holocaust in school in New Zealand and am attempting to build on my own understanding whilst hopefully that of other readers in the same position as me, but without having had the chance, opportunity or privilege to visit Auschwitz themselves.
On this occasion of war (like in all others I believe) these horrors were stopped by guns and force. I'll love it when we're able to work these issues out with discussion/mediation like we tell our children to (eg. like Severn Susuki encourages us 'adults' to do in her speech at the 1992 Earth Summit!). That's how I intend to develop myself. To be able to be compassionate with people, even when I'm 'wronged', yet still stand for what I believe in. To be able to diffuse angry/violent situations and offer love in places where it is lacking.
I'll finish with a record from Anne Frank's Diary, who I consider to be a very courageous and intelligent young lady.
As you can no doubt imagine, we often say in despair, 'What's the point of the war? Why, oh why, can't people live together peacefully? Why all this destruction?'
The question is understandable, but so far no one has come up with a satisfactory answer. Why is England manufacturing bigger and better aeroplanes and bombs and at the same time churning out new houses for reconstruction? Why are millions spent on the war each day, why not a penny is available for medical science, artists or the poor? Why do people have to starve when mountains of food are rotting away in other parts of the world? Oh why are people so crazy?
I don't believe the war is simply the work of politicians and capitalists. Oh no, the common man is every bit as guilty; otherwise people and nations would have rebelled long ago! There's a destructive urge in people, the urge to rage, murder and kill. And until all of humanity, without exception, undergoes a metamorphosis, wars will continue to be waged, and everything that has carefully been built up, cultivated and grown will be cut down and destroyed, only to start all over again.
I've often been down in the dumps but never desperate. I look upon our life in hiding as an interesting adventure, full of danger and romance, and every privation as an amusing addition to my diary. I've made up my mind to lead a different life from other girls, and not to become an ordinary housewife later on. What I'm experiencing here is a good beginning to an interesting life, and that's the reason - the only reason - why I have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments.
I'm young and have many hidden qualities; I'm young and strong and living through a big adventure; I'm right in the middle of it and can't spend all day complaining because it's impossible to have any fun! I'm blessed with many things: happiness, a cheerful disposition and strength. Every day I feel myself maturing, I feel liberation drawing near, I feel the beauty of nature and the goodness of the people around me. Every day I think what a fascinating and amusing adventure this is! With all that, why should I despair?
Yours, Anne M. Frank
..... and Amber JH Taylor!
What a moving set of insights into the world of the past as how to re-orientate our lives. Yes! Do visit Ann Frank's hiding place in Amsterdam. I recall visiting it years ago as a young man when Snowdon was only a toddler (I went to Europ several times on holidays on my own!) and was simularly moved. Some of the images have since faded in my mindbut the empathy and sympathy for the Jewish victims remain with me to this day. Looks like your honeymoon is covering a a wide spectrum of experiences from the fun and laughter of beaches, friends and easy private evenings with Snowdon (and friends) to the sombre realities of the past and how human nature does slip into the unthinkable wicked ways of our humanity! Cant wait for you guys to come home to the restfulness of home here in Singapore. Not long to go to have you and Snowdon come to relate more untold adventures that have enriched and enhanced the first year of your married life together!
ReplyDeleteThank you Harold. I was really inspired to write it but a bit nervous about putting all these ideas out there wide open for everyones judgement, and also it's so long I wondered if people would get to the end of the blog, so I really appreciate your comments/feedback. Yes it will be good to settle for a while in Singapore Only two weeks left of the travel part of our adventure!
ReplyDeleteGreat writing Amber - really informative and insightful. It also struck me how beautiful and peaceful the camps were - such a contrast to how they were 70 years ago. So wonderful for you to be recording all these details, I am sure the memories will remain so vivid for you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rach and a great point. The memories from some of my other trips are very fuzzy (I remember the people really well but not the names/locations of places) and I think writing about this one will secure those future memories better:)
ReplyDeleteWow. I can totally relate to the confusion of self-reaction. That is something we can not prepare for, and our own emotions often surprise us - anger, sadness, guilt (as you say, to be human). I felt very similar emotions at the Killing Fields and ToelSlem in Cambodia. In fact, it exhausted me...the sadness. To feel the unspoken horrors and atrocities is the experience of compassion that everyone should be confronted with, in order to ensure these things don't happen again....
ReplyDeleteWell written Amber....
Katie. Wow! To quote you, 'feeling the horrors is the experience of compassion that everyone should be confronted with..' I hadn't seen it like that. Like that is what these museums etc can offer people - being confronted with feeling their reactions, works to help people generate/feel compassion. And we know that compassion makes a difference everywhere! That is good Katie - nice insight, thanks for that!
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